39.5 Weeks

The beginning of this week was very difficult for me emotionally. Monday was my father's birthday, so of course he teased that he would like the baby to arrive that day. Well it appears the stork made a delivery that day, but to my friends who were due ten days later than me. I saw the status update online and I just broke down into tears. It just didn't seem fair to me. It didn't help that I had been reading birthing stories online from my online support group and most of the women described being even less physically ready then I was at the last appointment, and yet they have their babies already.
I am happy for everyone else, but I want it to be my turn already. I have never felt so prepared for something in my whole life, even though I know there are so many things that will happen that I simply can not prepare myself for. I have read every book I have on birthing, breast feeding, and child development from cover to cover. I have cleaned and organized the house several times over. I have everything at work set up so I can ignore it with no guilt for the next few weeks. I have food in the pantry and freezer for when we arrive home. I have my bags packed and ready in the car. I have very little left to do that can distract me further.
It doesn't help that I have been trying all the things they say will cause your labor to progress and nothing seems to stick. I have been going for walks, which are awkward around the neighborhood, so a lot of times I pace around the house and go up and down the stairs instead. I have been cleaning the house making sure to do things that will require me to bend, stretch, stand, etc. I alternate that with afternoons where I don't do anything but keep my feet up. (Because of course all the advice you get contradicts itself.) I am about ready to try eating spicy food and red raspberry tea, but I can assure you I will NOT be trying the caster oil trick. So far all the tricks seem to have done is make me sore. The contractions come and go as they please, getting more painful as the day progresses, but then stopping sometime in the evening.
I know T is just as disappointed as I am that she is not here. He comes home every day from work and tells me that people keep asking him why the baby isn't here yet. I know it isn't easy on him either watching me get grumpier and more physically uncomfortable. He tries to help me as best he can, but there isn't much he can do either. We have pretty much resigned to the fact that she will come next week when we induce. God help us if they have to move that appointment back a day or two.